Posted in Dys-Adventure

Office Supply Wars

Hello Humans of the internet!  It’s time for the post that I’ve mentioned far too many times without actually posting it.  Seriously, I talked about it last week.  And the week before.  It’s about time that I finally explain the office supply wars.  

I’m pretty sure that anyone who has worked in an office will be able to relate to this.  At least, I hope so, otherwise I will feel even more petty then I already do.  And I feel extremely petty.

This is kind of a long story, we have to go back, way back to August and my first week at my first long term job.  I was so excited.  I was doing art for a living.  I was doing the thing that I’d always been told was impossible.  I had proven every teacher who hadn’t believed in me wrong.  I had graduated high school and was working a job that I loved.  Enter the queen of the universe that is the printshop who I’ve talked about before.  I think I’ve been calling her Linda.  A past story about her can be found here.  Linda is very used to things going exactly how she wants them to go.  She’s used to people doing what she wants. I’m socially awkward with a problematic stubborn streak.  I’m not proud of myself.

In my first week of work, I was stapling a stack of papers that had just been printed off.  I, of course, used the stapler that was sitting on my desk when I got there.  I didn’t think anything of it.  Linda told me to staple papers, there was a stapler.  She walked by my desk and looked at stapler in my hand.  Then she looked at me.  She didn’t say anything.  I thought it was weird, but ignored it.  A few minutes later she came back with the stapler from her desk and set it on mine and said, “I don’t know if you have a stapler.”  Which was even wierder because she had just looked at me stapling the papers.  I was holding a stapler stapling papers when she put the other stapler on my desk.  I finished stapling.  I set down the stapler that I had been using which was on my desk and picked up the stapler she had set on my desk then brought it and the papers to her.  She took the stapler, examined it declared that it wasn’t hers, went to my desk, switched them then said she was OCD.

She kept taking pens off my desk.  That’s gone on for months.  She still does that.  I can’t hold on to pens.  Do you know how frustrating it is to be mid design and absolutely need to write something down and the pen is not where you need it to be?  And I don’t know why, but if the pen doesn’t feel right to me, my brain panics and forgets everything its managed to learn about writing.  I don’t know why.  I’m going to blame dyslexia even though I’m pretty sure this one is a personality thing.  Figuring that maybe she was doing this because everyone uses the same pens at work.  So, I brought my fancy sharpie pen that I had spent too much money one a while back.  And then that disappeared off of my desk and I saw Linda using it.

A few weeks later, I was cutting out a vinyl design.  The machine does most of the cutting, but I like to cut off any access vinyl before applying it to a shirt as it makes it easier to center.  Except, I couldn’t find my scissors anywhere.  I looked everywhere.  In the end, I borrowed some from the embroidery room.  Later, I saw my scissors on Linda’s desk.  Linda does not need scissors for anything.  Do you use scissors to order supplies and take money from customers?  So, while she was on lunch, I stole them back.  The next day.  They were gone again and I planned to steal them back the next time Linda left.  Except, she came in accusing me of stealing her scissors.  Later, I found out that those scissors were part of an office supply war.  Almost everyone had stolen them from someone at some point and no one was sure who the scissors belonged to.  The next week someone, I suspect our boss’s wife, had fresh unopened scissors for everyone.  Which I think everyone assumed would be the end of it.

Until Linda wanted to open a box.  Do you know what she had on her desk?  A box cutter, several actually.  Do you know what she used to open the box?  My scissors.  And she tucked them into her little cup of supplies when she was done.  I know that I should had just rolled with it.  But this woman had proven to be racist and sexist and rude and extremely racist and told me over and over that I wasted my time and money going to school because I’m still dyslexic (I literally have no idea what that means).  Anyway, I convinced myself in my brain that I was completely justified.

I took my scissors back off her desk.  And I took my sharpie pen out of her desk drawer (how rude do you have to be to not only steal someone’s favorite pen but to then protectively put it in your desk drawer?).  I took my ruler which had also disappeared.  I collected every office supply that belonged on my desk.  I briefly considered writing my name on them, but even when I was feeling frustrated and petty, that seemed too petty.  So instead  wrote vinyl department (I’m the only one in the vinyl department).  Except, I was stressed and dyslexic, so I didn’t write vinyl, I wrote vynil.

So, then not only was I feeling about 2 inches tall from giving in to the office supply wars, I also felt incredibly stupid and like Linda was right.  College was a waste of time and money, because here I am, still not smart.

Moral of the story is don’t be petty.  Don’t try to get back at anyone, you’re gonna be the one who looks bad.

much love




don’t forget to email me
if there’s a person you’d
like to see interviewed


I'm a writer with dyslexic.

5 thoughts on “Office Supply Wars

  1. O.M.G. The stories about office supplies I could share. I did go for writing my name on things. At least that way when someone was using them they would think of me! My husband worked with a very stingy secretary. When he went to get more pens, she asked him what he had done with the ones she had given him months ago. He told her he had used them up. Apparently no one else in his division did much work, so she didn’t believe him. He also couldn’t get a replacement chair when his broke. We bought him a new one at Staples and engraved his name on the bottom. Our happiest moment came when he got a new job and we wheeled that chair out of the old office, past the guards!

    Liked by 2 people

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s