Hello Humans of the Internet. I’m going to go ahead and throw it out there that “Mayhem” is in fact a bit of an over reaction, but I really like alliterations. Alliteration is my favorite form of figurative language and there aren’t a lot of instances where you can use it without sounding like a children’s book.
So, my mid-week mayhem that was more of just a mild inconvenience was caused, in part by the fact that I’m not a great reader (the other part was racist people). I’m not saying that I would want to be not dyslexic because, it’s part of who I am and I don’t want to be someone else. But, could I be a dyslexic that can read under stress? Is that too much to ask? Probably. Anyway, on with the anecdote:
As anyone from a small town in the U.S. is surely aware, it’s high school football season. Growing up, I loved this because it meant baton twirling at the games almost every Friday. Everyone wore red and white (our school colors). And our principal would come over the intercom at the end of the day to announce that there were “fifteen Warhorse minutes to the bell” (Warhorses were our school’s mascot). Occasionally, we would even get “thirty Warhorse Seconds to the bell.” We had Pep-rallies and of course the all important Homecoming. And we always had t-shirts. The Pep squad had t-shirts (I wasn’t cool enough for the pep squad). Every sport had t-shirts. We, twirlers had t-shirts. The seniors got senior t-shirts (this was always drama because there would always be one shirt that everyone got and one that only the “popular kids” got. The school tried a million ways to prevent this, but it always happened.
Why am I bringing up high school memories when I hated high school and have been out for four years? Because, I now work for the t-shirt printshop in my hometown. Which means that I am now the person making artwork for these shirts and cutting out vinyl for the shirts that require customization. Like the front of the shirts will say “Warhorse Football” and have a picture of the mascot (that gets screenprinted), but the back will have the person’s name and their number (that’s done in vinyl). Somehow, someone thought that it would be a good idea for typing up names from handwritten lists, cutting them out, and putting them on the correct sized shirt to be the dyslexic’s job. Yep. I mean obviously from the title, you can guess about how that’s been going.
We send the lists to be proofed and they are always so confused by what I send them. I’ve missed whole names. I wrote someone’s name completely backwards. Like if their name was James I wrote Semaj. That’s not their name, it feels a little rude to use their name, you know?
Honestly, I’m used to stuff like that happening to me. You know, it has been my whole life and all. But, it did get a little awkward when a co-worker was talking to me about it. (this is where the afore mentioned racism comes in)
She told me not to worry about messing up the names as long as they were right on the shirts, that’s what matters. (So far all mistakes have been corrected prior to being put on a shirt). I felt a little bit better, until she kept talking that is. “All those people have weird made up names anyway. I can never tell what they are either.” Kind of an odd thing to say, but whatever, I laughed politely and made to go back to work. But she did not stop there. “Even when those people have a normal name they spell it all kinda ways.” So, I’m starting to wonder who “those people” are. But, I didn’t have to wonder long. She went on, “One of those list I gave you had Jared spelled three different ways. And, I’m pretty sure they are all (suddenly whispers) black (back to normal voice) people. They always get (whispers again) creative (back to normal) with names.”
So, I walked away and tried to pretend like that wasn’t super racist. Part of me wishes I had confronted her about that, but I really hate confrontation. Also, has anyone else ever experienced that thing when you’re talking to a racist Southerner and they whisper “black” and assumes that somehow that makes them not racist? Do you know why they do that? Also, why did she whisper “creative?”
Anyway, I had something else I was going to post, it was all scheduled, but when this started happening, I rescheduled that for Friday. A few updates and it will be fine. Friday’s current post isn’t that good anyway, I’ll mesh them together and make a mutant post. (wow, I’m getting kind of weird, better cut myself off before you realize just how strange I am).
Much love, AK