Hello, lost humans of the internet! I decided to give myself the New Year’s Resolution to keep up with posting every Saturday night and as you may or may not have noticed that didn’t work out too well. I would tell you that I’ve been super busy and lost track of time or something of that nature, but the truth is that I was just hanging out with my siblings and parents and then being slightly lazy. But, I’m back and I’m still a mess. I don’t have any actual dys-adventures just yet, but I have managed to be completely socially inept.
You’ve probably guessed by now that I’m a very socially awkward person and the following are some examples I’ve had of this.
- Tank-top man
I’m sure you are right now picturing a male human that wears tank-tops all the time, thus explaining why I call him tank-top man. The truth however is that I’ve never seen him in a tank top. “But, AK, why call him Tank-top man?” you inquire. Well, because I had class with him a while ago as a freshman and forgot his name. For an unknown reason when he said, “Hi” I answered, but my brain didn’t stop with just “hi” which would make sense if you’ve forgotten someone’s name. Nope, my brain said “Hi, tank-top.” So yeah. I guess I can never look him in the eyes again.
2. Dirt in the ears incident
Luckily, only my best friend was there for this particular incident which definitely minimized my embarrassment. But, now I’m posting in on the internet and literally anyone could see it…
Anyway, my best friend was being jokingly insulting so I was putting my headphones back on and my intent was to say “Okay, well I’m going to just listen to my music and ignore you.” But I couldn’t think of the word for music and I had already started the sentence so I just said, “Okay, well I’m going to put this dirt in my ears.” What? Why? What is happening in my brain? I don’t know.
So, someone complimented my hair and I just shouted “Pinterest!” then panicked and left. I guess many the right wording would be that I panicked then shouted “Pinterest” and left. That poor person was probably so confused. How would you react if that happened to you?
Please tell me that I’m not the only person who never learned how to interact with real humans. Share you awkward stories, please. Write them all the way down there on the super cute little envelop and come back next week for a super exciting thing that I’m going to start doing once a month at the end of the month. Now I’ve said it on the internet so I have to do it on January 28th I will have a new post and I’m already excited about it. I really hope you come back and enjoy it.